Mistakes Make You ‘Stronger’

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. At least that’s what Kelly Clarkson has been telling me. Following a bruising court appearance a few weeks ago, I limped back to the office seeking inspiration and checked out the video for her new song, “Stronger.” After I saw it, I half-thought it might be a good idea to start a flash mob dance at Daley Plaza.

Now I don’t want you thinking I take my life lessons from pop singers, but her words resonated with me. As young law students, we begin the process of thinking analytically and with reason. Emotions, we are taught, have no place in the law (see “Legally Blonde”). I say a little bit of emotion here and there can bring about positive changes.

Anyway, as I staggered back from that bad day in court, a ton of emotions raced through my body. Anger, bewilderment, disappointment, and eventually, resignation. Essentially a cornucopia of how did that happen?

But then I realized that most days at work I don’t experience those emotions. The practice runs smoothly, work gets done, people are happy. No yelling, no crying and everything is great in the world. Even when something exceptionally good happens, tough motion won or case settled, I don’t really think too much about it. It’s on to the next one, which I know is not a very sane way to live.

But when something “bad” happens, the world stops. At least mine does. I will dwell and analyze and dissect what went wrong. The bad days are a small percentage in the practice but for some reason they can feel catastrophic. I am pretty sure there is a name for this phenomena but I will leave that to the therapists and psychologists of the world. All I know is it occurs and although we may focus on the negative, we can actually take the negative and use it for a positive. A learning experience.

Fortunately and unfortunately, young lawyers of the universe, you will have good days and bad days in the practice of law. The good days, hopefully, you will learn to appreciate. Without the bad days though, most of us forget to reflect. It’s the bad experiences that we remember for some reason. In the same vein though, I have learned more from my mistakes and for that I am grateful. The key is to use those analytical and logic skills we have at our disposal and see what went astray so we don’t repeat or get burned again.

Nobody wants to be that kid that keeps putting his finger in the burning stove, right? Getting into the habit of recognizing the problem, whatever it may be, and learning how to rectify it will help so much in the long run of your practice. It is a good habit to get into. Don’t brush off the mistakes or blame someone else. Take advantage and really reflect. What went wrong, how did it go wrong and what do I do so this doesn’t happen again?

Listen, no one is perfect, and sometimes you will have to accept that you will have bad days in the practice. There are situations that will be out of your control and you will have to take the lump and move on. Trying to be perfect all the time will leave you exhausted and too scared to take risks. What I have learned so far is to trust yourself. There will be times you will wonder if this profession is for you, if you can do anything right or keep your boss or your clients happy. I am sure there will be times you will wonder how the heck you managed to pass a two-day bar exam but can’t use spell check correctly to the consternation of your boss. Don’t go down that road.

Keep your head up, learn from your mistakes and you will get better with each passing day of practice. It’s called practice for a reason! In all seriousness though, law just like in life will leave us with bruising days. As long as we are learning and using the lessons moving forward, I think we will be okay. The scars will fade and we will hopefully be left with a practice we can be proud of.

– Via Chicago Daily News Bulletin

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