Good Lawyers Know How to Listen

I never realized the crucial importance of listening until recently and the impact it has in our interactions. I was at a restaurant placing an order. I had some modifications to my dish, which I specifically told the server. Well, when my meal came out, it was exactly as it was described in the menu, but not what I ordered. Obviously not a big deal but it inspired me to ask our server what happened. She was so apologetic and said, “Gosh, I have had so many orders for this today, and it’s been so busy, and I just went into automatic mode and I must have just thought you wanted the dish the way it was.”

I recognized immediately what she was talking about. When she asked to take our order, she hardly looked up at us. Instead, it was head down, quick jot on her pad and that was it.

We have a tendency to hear what we want to hear. It’s like our brains are programmed to process information in tunnel vision format.

It’s been said that recognizing you have a problem is the first step. I began to pay more attention and realized I engaged in this type of listening/nonlistening behavior more often that I would like.

We are all guilty of it, whether it takes place at work, with our significant others or even strangers. We do it a lot at work, whether we want to admit it or not, as we spend a majority of our time at work.

You get a phone call from a client or opposing counsel, but at the same time, you may be checking your e-mail, working on a brief or in the middle of preparing for a court hearing. So we half-listen to whatever is being said on the other line. Same thing with a colleague popping into your office for a chat while you are in the middle of something. Because let’s face it, we are always in the middle of something. It’s a rare moment in life unless you are meditating or sleeping that you are doing absolutely nothing.

So your workmate comes in to ask a question or just simply to chat and we try to juggle both the conversation and the work we were doing prior to being interrupted. Guess what usually happens. Neither your work nor your colleague gets 100 percent of your attention. In the midst of this, we cheat ourselves and we cheat those we interact with. Like I said earlier, we have been programmed to think we can do multiple tasks at the same time and be more efficient with our time.

Literature and studies suggests the exact opposite. Multitasking actually takes us longer to accomplish any given task and takes away from the finished product or end result because our attention was not solely given to one thing at a time.

Another example of this behavior I have witnessed often is in depositions. You know the drill, we prepare and prepare. We comb the file for useful documents, write a marvelous outline and we are ready to depose the heck out of whomever may be in the hot seat. Well, it’s not unusual for the defending attorney in that conference room to be e-mailing, texting or playing Angry Birds while being half-present. Or the deposing attorney to be so stuck on the outline and making sure each and every question is asked that we forget to actually listen to what the witness is saying or watching for any visual cues or expressions that can lead to a whole different line of questioning, one that perhaps is beneficial to the case.

There are many reasons to stop and listen as lawyers. We can’t do our jobs to the best of our abilities when our mind is everywhere but where it needs to be. We can’t conduct a thorough deposition if we aren’t listening. Objections and the potential for other avenues of questioning get lost.

Communications and conversations with those around us suffer too. In a sense, distracted driving is no different than distracted listening. Another way this multitasking phenomena affects us as lawyers is our silly sense of pride. We think we can tackle every project we undertake although there is this nagging little voice in the back of our heads that says, “Um, how am I going to get those done, when I have X, Y and Z to also do by that deadline?” But we do it anyway. We don’t listen to that little voice, which usually turns out to be right. As a result, maybe our brief isn’t as good as it could have been if we had declined other projects.

My point is — slow down a second and listen. In the long run it could be the best thing you do and save you from providing mediocre representation or worse yet, a letter from the Attorney Registration & Disciplinary Commission.

We have been so inundated with distractions at every turn that listening has become a lost form of art. Reclaim it. It will only make you a better attorney.

– by Karen Munoz

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