Park Trip Sparks Lawyer Parallels

The other day, I was walking my dogs in the neighborhood. Usually I try to use the time as a walking meditation.

Every once in a while, I come across a scene which draws my attention. On this particular weekend afternoon, we walked past the park, which was chock full of children and other small dogs, much to my furry friends’ delight.

So we lingered about and I let the dogs do their thing while I talked to some of the other dog owners. While there, I noticed a couple of things. The kids who were actively playing with other kids seemed to be with parents who were also socializing with other parents.

When a cry or yell from a playing child alerted a parent, the parent would rush over and find out what was going on. If the child had done something to misbehave, they would be disciplined. Or if the child had fallen and hurt themselves, the parent would help them up and coax them back to smiles.

Interestingly enough, the kids who were playing by themselves did not receive much prodding from their parents who seemed to be buried in their cell phones.

Maybe this scene at the park was an isolated occurrence, but something about the whole interaction told me there was a definite observable trend here. What was striking to me was the importance and depth of the relationships on the playground and the resemblance to the relationships and interplay between younger and more seasoned attorneys.

As human beings, we learn by observation. We tend to learn and mimic those who are around us and, most importantly, those who we see as authority figures. As children, this individual is usually one parent or maybe even both.

As we grow older, we become influenced by a continual line of authority figures such as coaches, professors and bosses.

We tend to become what we observe. We act like others around us act because we view it as acceptable.

This can be attributed to the whole nature-versus-nurture question which has been written about and debated extensively. For the most part, I believe us to be, as adults, a product of our environment.

And in the case of young attorneys, I believe us to be a product of our work environment. As young lawyers, not only do we learn the law from our more seasoned colleagues and partners — depending on the type of law being practiced — but we also learn how to interact with those around us.

We take social cues from our higher-ups — sometimes it is because we respect our mentors so much that we want to do everything we can to be just like them. Sometimes the habits are great. Sometimes we take stances which we know in our guts aren’t right, but we feel as if we have little choice in the matter.

I sometimes wonder why some attorneys treat other attorneys so poorly or with little respect. I wonder why they think it is OK to litigate cases as if the future of the country is at risk.

I have witnessed the bad kids on the playgrounds — the young associates in the courtroom or in depositions, who huff and puff. I have seen the transformation from newbie to miniature versions of their partners. How did this occur? I think it is because the behavior is learned and condoned and, in some circumstances, expected.

From the denial of routine extensions to complete rewrites of history in letter-writing campaigns, this behavior can be seen.

If professionalism in this profession is to reign supreme, undoubtedly it must start from the top. And let me tell you, habits are hard to break, especially the not-so-good ones. How do we begin to transform attorneys’ bad behavioral habits? I open this one up for discussion.

I do believe norms in our legal culture can be deconstructed and reformed. Once we can pinpoint the origins of our actions, we can begin to work on them. The hardest part is taking a look at how we interact with others and really taking a hard look at the examples we are setting and whether at the end of the day we serve the profession nobly.

This brings me to my park observation. When we receive the proper professional guidance, and actually learn from it, our generation of young attorneys is better served.

We will carry on those habits of civility and professionalism as we continue to practice. We can carry the torch and pass it along to the next generation. It is the only way to keep the flame alive.

Nobody wants to be the bully in the park.

and your inside try to even put in another blue
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